In sickness and in health

I'm not the type of person who gets sick very often. I get a cold here or there but have never been really sick where I can't do much. I may pretend I can't do much but in reality I can.

Two Thursdays ago I started to feel achy. That's never a good sign. I was watching my niece and had been dealing with the boys being sick off and on. Mostly with sniffles and coughs, though B did have a double ear infection. I thought I was pretty lucky in not getting any of it, little did I know that I would get it and more.

It started out with just some coughing and some aches, nothing major. Til Saturday got here, I had no voice and could barely get off the chair. Sunday I woke up with a very sore ear and knew I was going to get worse before getting better. D ended up taking me to the doctors and then to get my med. I had an ear infection and pretty nasty bout with the laryngitis bug that was going around. The doctor prescribed some amoxicilan and what he said was cough suppresant with codiene to help me sleep. Unfortunately it wasn't a cough suppresant it was to help me cough more to get the gook up. Needless to say I didn't sleep well for about 3 days.

Fast forward to this week. I am still dealing with the ear problem. It is clogged and still ringing. I am treating it with some benedryl and decongestant. It does seem to be getting a bit better but really it's quite annoying now.

My husband has been wonderful through it all. He's come home and made suppers and taken care of dishes and laundry. He has taken care of the boys, getting them baths and dressed and in bed. He's been the greatest. Sometimes I do wonder where his priorities are when it comes to work, but he has shown me that no matter what he has going at work, he still has time for us and to take care of our needs.

Thanks, D, I love you!!!!

I think I'm broken

My husband and I have been trying for 6 months to get pregnant again. I've been hoping that it would happen again, however after 6 months, it still hasn't happened.

It's so frustrating each month to feel my boobs hurt, feel a little nauseous and then AF shows up. I wish she would take her ugly head and go somewhere else.

I know we've gone a longer period of time without using bc and not getting pregnant but man this is getting frustrating. Very, very frustrating. I have a friend who has been trying for a year now and still hasn't had that "magic moment" either.

Every time I see a baby or I hear a baby I feel a little sad. Some days I think I'd be alright by never seeing a positive test again, but then AF shows up and I'm not ok. I try to take solace in the two boys that I have been blessed with already, but sometimes, I yearn for another little one to hold and love. One that I can nurse and snuggle with and show all sorts of love to. I yearn to have someone that needs me so much and loves me unconditionally.

It's moment like tonight when I see AF show up that I am not ok and I think that in itself is ok as long as I don't let it consume me.

I will continue to pray that God will see fit to bless me with another little one to raise in His ways, until that day I pray that I will cherish the two children he already blessed me with.

Time just doesn't stand still

As much as I would love to see time stand still sometimes, it doesn't. No matter what we do, it just continues going on.

When I've not been working on my Avon stuff, I've been trying to get the house into some kind of organization, shuttling the kids to preschool, texturing the kitchen walls and trying to decide on a paint color for the kitchen. I've also been suffering with what I think was the beginning of a cold. I've had a sore throat, upset stomach, stuffing nose and tiredness. Thankfully I have not experienced a fever.

We've had over 3 1/2 inches of rain between Friday and Sunday. It really messed with my computer and when I should have been online, I couldn't be. It really slowed me down. I've been trying to catch up, but it's been so hard to do.

I discovered that a friend's grandfather died two days ago and I just found out about it today. Makes me feel like not such a great friend. I hate feeling like that. I've been trying to write my bff from high school a letter for months now. I just haven't had time to sit down and do it. I'm working on trying to finish a book that I need to finish by Monday. I don't have many pages left to read, but it seems the only time I have to read is while I'm using the "office". I'm behind by too many days on the newspaper to even count.

Ah, if only time would stop for a little bit so I can catch up on everything.

Being Weirded out

When I first met my husband about 12 years ago, he was married. No, it wasn't love at first sight or anything. I was dating his cousin and he, I thought was happily married. Apparently he wasn't so happily married after all, because him and his wife split up and eventually his cousin and I did too. In a little over 10 years of being together, I have not once had to face his ex-wife. Luckily for us, she was in NJ while we were in OH and until we moved to NJ, 9 years ago, she was forgotten.

Well last year we moved back to our hometown area and from what we had heard she was in the area too. I told him it was only a matter of time until we ran into her. He's seen her dad several times at work, but luckily in the year we have not seen her, until last week.

Last week he calls me and says, it took a year, but guess who I ran into? Yep, that's right his ex. Not only did he see her, he had to wait on her too. Now I know that there are no feelings there anymore, and I know that I have nothing to worry about, however it just weirded me out.

I know the hurt that she caused him and the pain he went through when their marriage ended. She also ruined his credit, by not removing him from a credit card she had. I also realized that if it weren't for her, we might not be together. In a way, I am grateful to her, but in another way, I wish she wasn't around and wasn't part of his past.

And if that's not weird enough, our son, L, is in preschool with his ex-brother in laws daughter. D thought it could be him when he looked at the preschool list, however he wasn't sure, but stupid me asked when I picked L up from school yesterday and sure enough it is him. This doesn't bother me as much, just seems weird to me.

Sometimes busy is good

Life has been pretty busy and hectic around here but I'm not minding it all that much. There was a time when I would have cringed at being so busy but now I'm so glad.

The boys are both in preschool this year. B is doing M, W, F and L is doing T and Th. Both are in AM, so we are typically in the car by 8:30 to drive the 15-20 mins to their school. They are both enjoying, although L did miss his first official day due to being sick. He had gotten sick the day before, just as we had pulled into the grocery store parking lot and then when he got up the that morning he was running a slight fever.

B is doing really good now with speech. His teachers are very impressed with his progress, and I have even more sure of holding him another year in preschool instead of sending him to kindergarten. I think til he starts next year his speech will have improved enough that he won't need the extra help. Which I think is a blessing since I'd hate to see him dealing with being teased and made fun of. From experience that's not fun.

L is improving with B in his speech, although B's teachers do seem a little concerned. I'm not sure that I will have him tested though because I think a huge part of it is because he's learned so much from B, but we'll see in a few months, what they say.

We still don't have any good news on the baby front, which does upset me some, however I know that it is all in God's time. My niece is getting so big and I've heard that she is rolling over, though I haven't seen her do so yet. Hopefully we'll get to see her do it soon.

Well I must get going, I've rested long enough.