One of those days

I am a shopaholic. I love to shop and I love a great bargain. When I see a bargain, I have a hard time turning it down.

This, however, gets me into big trouble as it did today. I was shopping the last week online for a book for the bookclub that I run online at Cafemom and I found it along with a few other things and bears. I love bears. My mom got me hooked when I was younger with her ever growing collection of Boyd's Bears. I also love Thomas Kinkade and his pictures so when you put the two together its hard to resist. Especially when its at a great price. I bought 5 Thomas Kinkade bears. They were only around $20 for the 5 of them. They are the cutest things.

Well dh saw them today and freaked out on me. Well actually he didn't freak, he just gave me that cold silent treatment that I hate and when I know something is wrong but he won't tell me. Ugghhhhh, I hate when he does that. I'd rather get a tongue lashing than a silent treatment. And of course he was on his way out the door when he finally decided to say something to me about it, which only makes it worse.

Now yes, I do know it's my fault. I'm the one that bought the bears when I knew we didn't have the money for them. I'm the one that asked him to wait until June to go to the dentist because we didn't have the money to pay outright for the visit (I'm trying not to use the credit cards when shopping). I'm the one that knows how much money we do have or in most cases don't have. He doesn't spend the time to look to see where our money is going so I'm not held accountable if I spend money we don't have. Does that make sense? It does to me. Let's see if I can explain it better.

I pay the bills, all the bills. I take care of all the monetary aspects of our marriage. He asks me how he's to pay for his gas. He doesn't buy anything, or almost anything. I do the grocery shopping, the clothes shopping, everything. If something were to happen to me, he probably wouldn't know what to do about money. Not that he's clueless about money but he doesn't know how to check out account, whether by phone, online or anything. He knows that we use a credit union that is based out of our state capitol but that's about it. He knows what credit cards we have, but probably couldn't name them. So because I know that he doesn't look at the bills and the checking/savings account, I know that I can spend money without him knowing too much. This has really bothered me. It wasn't always like this. He actually took care of most of the bills when we first start living together, but he would forget that the rent was due the first of the month and would end up dropping it off late, so when we got married, I took over everything. He doesn't seem to mind, most of the time. However I do, I can't stand him not knowing. I've even offered to have him sit down with me and go over the bills and credit cards and checking account. He just doesn't "have the time". Which by the way, is something else I hate about him (note I said about). He never seems to have the time. He has NO hobbies because he doesn't have the time.

Please understand that I do love my husband and don't know what I'd do without him. He is my everything but some days, I'd like to ship him out the door for awhile and not just to work, like today.

Boy do I need to vent today

I just ranted on my journal at Cafemom.com but it was only part of my rant and venting but there is more, a lot more.

First, I worked last night to 10, so I'm tired this morning. I get up and we get ready and the day seemed like it would be like most days, uneventful and fairly good. My 3 yo was to have his first appointment with the speech therapist at a local school here. She never showed up. We waited 30 minutes for her. This was after she called last week to set up the appointment and then was suppose to call back with directions for me and never did. I was not happy with her at that point either. So now I'm really not happy.

On the way home I wanted to stop at the grocery store for a few things since dh was with and I wouldn't have to drag both kids out of the car. Now, I didn't use the milk this morning so I had no idea if we needed any and he knew I was going into the store for a few things, does he volunteer the info? No. I had to call him to see if we needed any. Then I was getting lunch meat for the kids and I for lunch for the rest of the week and I had to call him again to see if he wanted something. It would have been easier if he would have volunteered that info too.

We get home and he gets ready for work and Tink wanted something to drink so dh went to get him something and I discovered that Bman didn't have his normal Elmo cup and I asked why not, knowing that I had put it in the dishwasher yesterday before going to work. Dh said that he couldn't find it and that he gave him another new one. The one he gave him, of course was one that I hate because the thingy that's suppose to prevent it from leaking always comes out then the cup leaks all over the place. Then I noticed another cup under the chair in the living room and asked why that was there, dh said he couldn't find Bman's cup last night and got him a new one. I asked where it might be and he said probably my car. Duh, go look for it then. Amazing, there it was. Then I found a dirty ketchup covered plate underneath the hutch in the dining room. I made the comment that, that must be the reason why there were no dirty plates in the sink last night. Dh finally told me that there were dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I asked him if he was going to tell me that before I opened it and went to take out the clean ones so that I could load the dirty ones or before I tried to use a plate to discover that it was dirty.

Then I went down to load the washing machine and discovered that dh took the George Foreman grill down and never put the cover on it (I made covers so that we wouldn't have to clean them before we used them. Instead of putting the cover on he sat the grill on top of it.

I called and left a message for the speech lady, now I'll wait for her call back. I also emailed his other therapist to see if she had talked to her at all.

His other therapy is in home and let me just tell you that I really don't like her either. We do not go by a nickname with him and my dh told her that but she still insist on using a nickname. She brought cheetos and offered him one before making sure he could have them. I don't allow him to use scissors cause I don't think he's ready for them and she left him use scissors without asking about it first. She wants us to start trying sign language but didn't give us any resources other than to say google sign language and finding a site online to get the signs from. I did go out and buy a book and some of the signs I knew already so that helped.

I'm tired and frustrated for my childen. I have cramps, I'm frustrated for myself.